i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
