At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
