her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
