no, he came in my armpit
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I understand Curling. That high.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I need to sanitize my soul.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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