I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
