I wish you could order shots online.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
