based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
