drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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