I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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