This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
