Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
