mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
