dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I understand Curling. That high.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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