Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
