she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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