I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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