Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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