Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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