I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
