how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
