You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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