I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
