seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
