he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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