so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
