Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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