so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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