What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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