I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There r osticjed everywhere
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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