I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
