no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
