Dual....:-)
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
