they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
