i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the condom got lost in my hair
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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