a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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