She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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