The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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