people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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