Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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