just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
