dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He did a backflip because drugs
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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