Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
