i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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