I heard we made out
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
