went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
