Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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