I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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