we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
