put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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