we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
